The Comeback > The Setback

March 26, 2019

A few months ago, I took a much needed break from the social world. This including social media outlets & blogging. I felt like I was suffocating in my own thoughts & feelings. I went through several changes that just left me drained, overwhelmed, and flat out exhausted. During this time I realized that not only am I an over-thinker, I’m a huge negative thinker. 

A pessimist as most would say. 

Negative thinking is a common trait to those who suffer from anxiety. Which means often times, in most situations your brain naturally anticipates the most possible worst outcome. Talk about a constant headache! A close friend told me that I’m always ‘looking at the glass half-empty’.I hear that expression used sooo much, but what does it really mean? Usually it means that you often assume things won’t work out and/or you’re not surprised when they tend to go wrong. Generally speaking, it’s an indication that a particular situation could be a cause for Pessimism (half empty) or Optimism (half full). It pretty much all comes down to the attitude of the person looking at the glass!

I realized that I needed to do some heavy self introspection. I was entirely too focused on all the things I believed to be going wrong or taking too long to come to fruition. Just because you can find lots of reasons for feeling down & becoming a bona fide pessimist doesn’t mean that you should. I needed God’s touch and direction more than ever. However I realized that because my heart was so cluttered, there was no room to receive what he was so desperately desiring to give me. I was empty. My cup no longer runneth over.

Here are a few things that helped me to re-fill & are guaranteed to ensure a happier, healthier mindset!

1.Reframe A Problem into an Opportunity 

I may not have all the solutions to my problems, but I can certainly change how I view them. Approach is everything! I look at situations and experiences now as a way to learn something new, grow, and discover strength I never knew I had. My first thought now is “what can I learn from this?”  This has completely shifted my outlook & expectations.

“Problems cannot be solved at the same level of thinking at which they were created.”-Albert Einstein 

2.Spend more time with GOALfriends!

Isolation is the first step to negative thinking. I’m sure you’ve heard the old saying…’An idol mind is the Devils workshop’. It’s so true. He does his best work when he is able to separate you. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with being an introvert(home-body), however you have to be extremely careful about the amount of time you spend alone. Environmental human stimulation is food for the soul. Instead of curling up on the couch, exploring movies on Netflix on a Saturday night, I indulge in some “good girlfriend” time. That doesn’t always mean doing something fancy. Something simple as a late dinner, cooking class, or just wine & conversation will suffice. The key is to surround your self with like-minded people. Studies show that your self motivation level increases by almost half. It is vital to have accountability partners. People and/or a person in your life that holds you accountable for staying on track with keeping your heart & spiritual relationship on the right path.

3.LEVEL UP…literally

Sometimes we always anticipate the negative because too many times before, we have lowered our standards to the comfort of others. Aim higher, set expectations, and dismiss anyone that doesn’t meet them. Get rid of the drainers in your life. You know…those who seem to be always glorying in your weeping. Set higher goals for yourself. The basic just won’t do. Why settle for good enough when you can have Great! Most women tend to have this obsession with overachieving & it’s a great drive career wise. However when it comes to other areas in our lives we settle. Nah! Keep that SAME ENERGY when it comes to dating, goals, & those things that are most important to you. Stop confusing standards with preferences and confusing your assertiveness of these standards as being “too much”.

Remember, you are the yourself!

4.FAITH it til you make it.

The presence of God will not always fix your problems, but it will clarify your perspective. I always feel heavy and cluttered when I place my focus on everything else but God. Truth is, some days I have NO clue what’s going on in my mind or my life for that matter. Everything starts running together. & You know where I always find myself after all is said & done…on my knees! Either in a position of prayer or worship. The amount of relief I feel afterwards is unexplainable. Stop feeding into negativity and regain faith in yourself. There is nothing wrong with you that can’t be fixed over time and no trauma that can’t be healed with self-love. You have to give yourself the power to truly trust that God has your best interest at heart in every situation. Set your mind on things above, not on things of the earth! His works stretch far beyond what can be seen only with the human eye. Everyday I’m presented with new trials, some big and some small. However I’ve chosen to now look at the glass Half-Full. I now wake up with the desire to be fanatically positive. I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination! 

A word.

….So, I want you to think about it.

Are you looking at your glass as Half-Full or Half-Empty?

You’re one thought away from changing your life! 

“Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.”

-Romans 12:12

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